Tired of dating women who expect you to open up emotionally and split the bill? Wondering where all the grateful, gorgeous American women went? Spoiler: they’re here—ready to flee the burning dumpster fire of late-stage capitalism straight into your imported SUV.

Welcome to Poutine Daddies, where financially stable Canadian men connect with beautiful, mildly desperate American women who still think “universal healthcare” is exotic.

At Poutine Daddies, we don’t do small talk or soul-searching. We do yacht weekends, discreet companionship, and women who won’t ask what happened with your second marriage.

✨ Sign up now to become a certified Poutine Daddy™ and enjoy the finer things in life:
✅ Hot Americans
✅ Cold weather
✅ No emotional accountability

❄️ The tundra is calling, the jets are fueled, and somewhere in Ohio, your future ex-wife is packing her bags.